2013 in Quotes: The Mythical 'War on Christmas' and Related Silliness

by Dan Quinn

The right’s campaign to end the mythical “war on Christmas” started early this year when the Texas Legislature passed an unnecessary bill telling students and teachers that they could do something the First Amendment already allowed — wish others Merry Christmas. The war on “Happy Holidays” went downhill from there. Click here to read other summaries of the outrageous things we heard from the right in 2013.

Happy Holidays is What Liberals Say

— From a T-shirt being sold by the National Republican Congressional Committee, since removed.

Happy Holidays

— A message from Fox News during a commercial break for the network’s Bill O’Reilly show. In fact, during that very show, O’Reilly was decrying the mythical “war on Christmas” — including folks who say “Happy Holidays” instead of Merry Christmas.

You’re supposed to say Merry Christmas.

What a woman said before hitting a Salvation Army bell ringer who wished her “Happy Holidays.”

Just because it makes you feel uncomfortable doesn’t mean it has to change. Jesus was a white man, too. It’s like we have, he’s a historical figure that’s a verifiable fact, as is Santa, I just want kids to know that. How do you revise it in the middle of the legacy in the story and change Santa from white to black?

— Fox News host Megyn Kelly, upset that people might try to portray Santa as non-white.

Why do I have to drive around with my kids to look for a nativity scenes and be, like, ‘Oh, yeah, kids, look, there’s baby Jesus behind the Festivus pole made out of beer cans! It’s nuts!

— Fox News host Gretchen Carlson, lashing out at atheists in Florida for putting up a Festivus display next to a Christian display at the state Capitol building.

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